My First Birth Center Experience

      I didn't realize that when I posted the last belly pictures that I'd only have two weeks left of pregnancy. Just for fun here's the last two.

      The last two weeks I started to get more uncomfortable, but even more so in the last few days before birth. 

Sunday 1/31

      We went to church and I think everyone asked how I was doing and how much longer I had. I told them that was tired/exhausted/ready to not be pregnant and that I had about a week left. Ha! (This is why due dates are silly and I don't like telling mine until after. This pregnancy, I was due February 7th.)

Monday 2/1 Wee hours of the morning 

      I woke up several times to go to the the bathroom and once was almost soaked in sweat. I had a hard time getting back to sleep after the last potty break and when I finally did it was around 6:30AM. I was pretty groggy around 8:00 when I woke up for the day. 

9:00 AM

      Ty had just left for work and I was busy getting Anna's breakfast, cleaning up the kitchen, and starting laundry. My mother-in-law was coming that day to stay to help with baby and ironically, I thought it would be too early, but glad she was coming. I went to move a chair into the table and the leg came off. (It's an old set so that happens.) I went down to put it back on and felt a little leak. I went to the bathroom to find there was a bit of mucus. My body was definitely getting ready to have this baby. 

10:00 AM

    I started feeling some contractions and felt like I needed to go to the bathroom again, but this time there was bright red blood. My mind went immediately to panicked and nervous. I texted Ty to let him know and then called the birth center. I was able to talk to the midwife on call, Hannah, and described what was going on. I had a prenatal appointment scheduled for that afternoon so she said I could come in now since we would know more after being checked. 

10:30 AM 

      Ty arrived home and we decided to pack everything as if we were going to stay for labor. I was glad, but felt silly because I thought we'd end up coming back anyway. There was a crazy snowstorm that day and the wind was blowing the snow everywhere across the roads. It almost made it look like fog. The whole while I was still having intermittent contractions that seemed to get closer together and longer when I was sitting in the car. I could tell that I was at least in early labor. By now, I could also tell that I was going to have back labor. Apparently, I'm just one of those lucky people who gets that. 

11:15 AM

      We made it to the birth center and contractions calmed down during my appointment. From what Hannah could tell, since the bleeding seemed to be slowing down a bit, I was losing my bloody show. It wasn't like this with Anna so I wasn't sure that was the case, but I'm glad I went in. She checked me and she and I were both surprised to find I was 5 centimeters dilated and 80-90% effaced. I figured I was a bit dilated, but not that much already. Hannah was convinced that our baby would be coming soon. We decided to wait to schedule a 40 week appointment because we both figured Baby Girl would here in the next few days. We decided to call our sister-in-law, Celia, and have her meet us there to pick up Anna. The snowstorm was still going and we wanted to make sure Anna was taken care of just in case labor picked up. 

12:00 PM

We went downstairs to wait for Celia and her friend, Becca, who was driving her to us. Contractions started picking up, getting closer together. They have a room with a couple of couches that I was able to use and laid down while timing contractions on my phone. A little after noon, Celia got there and we said goodbye to Anna. I told her next time we saw her that her baby sister would be here. When they left, Ty asked how I was feeling and if we should go or stay since my contractions were getting closer together. I already had forgotten what Hannah said about how far apart we should wait for contractions so I asked him to go upstairs and ask again. When he came back down, he relayed the message that I could come upstairs and might as well stay if contractions were already that consistent. 

12:30 PM

      We got upstairs and I realized I hadn't eaten anything at all that day and that in grabbing Anna's things, Celia accidentally grabbed my purse. While we waited for her to bring it back, we decided on a sandwich place close so I could try to eat a turkey sandwich and get some protein. They offered me some juice they keep stocked in the fridge and I chose peach. It was so good and nice to have something other than water. While Ty went to grab lunch, I got situated in the birthing room. They took my vitals, checked baby's position, and heartbeat and started getting everything ready and set up. While we waited for Ty, I sat on a birthing ball and breathed through each contraction with the intern midwife, Roaya there to help me. I remembered Anna labor and birth and tried to avoid tensing and made a conscious effort to be loose and relaxed. Not easy, but I think I did okay. 

1:30 PM

      Ty came back and I started to eat my sandwich in between contractions. I really only got a few bites in before I felt a little sick to my stomach. Contractions were steadily progressing now and getting stronger. I knew if I wanted to keep down the little bit I had already eaten, I would need to stop or it would be wasted. They did another check of my vitals and baby's heartbeat. At that point, Hannah had started filling the tub and I couldn't wait to get in there. Ty was also very happy to not carry heavy pots of hot water up the stairs to fill it. Haha. 

2:00 PM

      I got into the tub and loved feeling the warm water. I stopped timing my contractions at this point since I didn't want my phone in the water. And really they were close enough now that it didn't seem to matter. I had planned to watch a movie during labor to help past the time and relax me. Ty set up the portable DVD player and put in "Willow". Hannah thought it was great and said it was definitely a first for a mom to watch a movie during labor. 

2:30ish

      I'm not exactly sure when I fit started feeling the need to push, but I wasn't expecting it to happen so soon. I had prepared myself for a good few hours yet of labor. Hannah went to grab Roaya from a prenatal appointment and both were surprised that it was already time. I'm not sure when my water broke (think during one of the few pushes), but things were certainly progressing quickly. I didn't count pushes, but with each one I could feel our baby moving down. Before I knew it, I felt the ring of fire and the pressure of her head crowning. Hannah and Roaya were coaching me to go deeper with my moans and yells, and I tried, but I think there's only a certain amount of control I could have. With one final push, Adalind Louise Robbins was born in the water at 2:45 PM. 

      I immediately picked her up and held her, leaned back in the water and just stared at this beautiful new person. Her head was so round and hadn't coned at all. She came so quickly that I don't think she had the time. They put warm towels on us and checked both of us while I held her there on me. Adalind latched really quickly and she ate while we waited for the placenta to deliver. It seemed to take forever and we all jokes that it took longer for the placenta to deliver than the baby. 

      After I delivered the placenta, I gave Adalind to Ty, while the midwives helped me over to the bed. Just as I was getting out, Adalind peed on Ty. I'm pretty sure Anna did that after she was born. It seems to be a right of passage for our kids. Haha. When I got to the bed, and after putting a diaper on baby girl, I continued to nurse Adalind while they checked on my tearing and stitched me up. I tore the same as I did with Anna, but I don't know how many stitches I got this time. 

      In total, we stayed about four hours after Adalind was born. This included getting stitched up and watched for hemorrhaging, being able to stand and go to the bathroom, continued nursing, getting the baby checked and weighed, finish eating my sandwich (so glad I still had that), getting dressed and ready to go. It was around 7 o'clock when we left and we couldn't believe how early it still was. Overall, we really loved our experience, but I'm still hoping that if there's a next time, we can have a homebirth, mostly so we don't have to go anywhere after it's all over. For this experience, I couldn't have imagined it going any better. When Hannah and Roaya came over the next day for the day after visit, they were thanking us for letting them be apart of such a great birth. Apparently, they had had several births in a row that were pretty tiresome and long and it was so nice to have a quick and easy one. We feel pretty blessed as well. 

My First Homebirth Experience

      I was pretty sneaky posting those two pregnancy posts when I did. :) What can I say? Chronological order is important to me. Now that everything has happened, and I've finally been able to get on my computer, it's definitely time to document and share what I experienced and went through. The word surreal has been used by both Ty and myself, several times, to describe it all. I still feel as though I just woke up and all of a sudden there's a beautiful child in my responsibility.

      February 11th was my Estimated Due Date and when it came and went without any sign of labor I'll admit I was a little sad. At the beginning of the week I had felt and predicted she would come that week. However, we were very prepared for the unexpected.

Monday 2/13 3:00PM
      During my 40 week appointment, I had a cervical exam and found that I was 3cm dilated and 80-90% effaced. I knew all that uncomfortableness I had been "enjoying" wasn't just typical pregnancy discomfort.  We went home and I texted two of my sisters-in-law and my mom and all three were sure this baby would be coming very soon.  This had me excited, but I still didn't want to keep my hopes up for the possibility that things could still move slowly.

Tuesday 2/14 3:00AM
      At my 3 AM potty break, I lost my bloody show, but still knew that things could still take awhile to progress so I didn't get myself worked up.  This being Valentine's Day I really wasn't keen on having my baby born on a holiday, though everyone else seemed to think it a cute idea.  I'm really not sure that Valentine's Day would be that big of a deal, but I just wanted to avoid it if I could.  Fortunately for me, I went throughout the day without much happening.

6:00PM
      Ty and I went to Safeway before dinner to gather a few things and luckily it was a fairly short visit, but it felt like hours.  My feet hurt, my legs hurt and I simply felt like standing was a burden.  I couldn't wait to get back into the car so I could sit down.  We got back home and had our dinner and spent the rest of the night watching TV while I tried timing the few irregular contractions I had, but faded away.

Wednesday 2/15 3:30AM
      Once again I woke up to go to the bathroom at 3:30 AM and was unable to fall back asleep.  This wasn't unusual, but then I started feeling contractions again at about 5:30 AM, which can be best described as menstrual like cramps (this description is mostly for women as men will know nothing about this kind of pain).

7:00AM
      Contractions started to become more regular lasting for about one minute with roughly a 10 minute break in between.  Rest was now impossible to find.  As much as I had heard that I should try to rest because "you won't get any later", I couldn't.

12:00PM
Something I wanted to make sure of was that I was still getting enough protein and ate lunch.  Another thing that I wanted to do if this was the real deal was to take a shower.  Who knew when I'd be able to next?  About 1:00PM I talked with Ginger on the phone and let her know what had been going on within the last 24 (or more) hours.  I let her know what was happening with my contractions and from my description she derived that I was not yet in Active Labor since they changed with my activity.  For instance, I always felt a contraction when I got up from bed.  She said that she would be in my area later that day and if things drastically changed to give her a call.

2:00PM
      My contractions had become closer together and regular despite my changing positions.  Again, though I tried to relax and rest, I simply couldn't sleep.  I laid down and closed my eyes and despite my sleepiness, it never came.  Back labor had already started and at some point that was how I knew a contraction was beginning.  Starting in my back and then wrapping around to the front where I would start to feel the menstrual-like cramps.

4:15PM
      Up until this point, I had been upstairs, in our bedroom riding out each contraction trying to distract myself.  I finally decided I needed my husband with me and was ready to be comforted through the pain I was feeling.  Since he works in the basement and I had resigned myself to our bedroom two floors up, I gave him a quick call hoping he would be done soon.  Unfortunately, he still had some work to finish and then had his chiropractic appointment to get to after.  (Before you go judging, I absolutely wanted him to go to that appointment because he needs it and we really didn't know where I was at with labor.)  So, I continued to bear through the pain on my own and hoped the time would pass quickly so that I could have my companion

6:00PM
      Ty had come back home and though I was worried about jumping the gun, having just experienced a nine minute period of several waves of contractions on top of each other, I decided we should call Ginger and give her an update.  I had no desire to be on the phone so Ty did the calling for me while I went through another contraction.  Ginger made the decision to come since things were obviously progressing right along and instructed Ty to start filling the birth tub with hot water.  Oh my goodness!  This was getting serious.  :)  I remember Ty asking me if I was hungry and wanted any dinner, but a meal didn't sound great and I decided against it.  Looking back, I should have tried to nibble on some protein.

6:45PM
      Ginger had arrived!  I was surprised at her energy considering she had two births in a row in the two days previous.  When she got here she asked if I wanted a cervical check and I did.  I was about 8 cm dilated!  Um, holy cow.  What this meant to me was that I definitely knew my body and could trust my instincts.  Also, that in a short time, I would be holding my baby.  After the exam, I stopped keeping track of my contractions since I didn't see the point.  Now, I knew it was time to call my mom and let her know she needed to come.  I called her cellphone...no answer.  Gah!  Of all the times to not answer your phone, this was not a good one.  I called my parents house and my youngest brother answered and I asked where my parents were.  My mom was babysitting my brother's kids while my sister-in-law came to Tri-cities to pick up my brother from the airport and my dad was at work.  GAAAAHHH!!  Would my mom be able to make it in time?  Didn't they all know we were on Baby Watch 2012 here?!  Next, I called my dad and he answered.  Yes!  He asked what I was doing and as nonchalantly as possible, while enduring another contraction, I said, "Oh nothin'.  Just in labor and having a baby soon."  Just as calm he said that he guessed that meant that they needed to head our way.  My parents were able to leave my brother's kids with my grandma next door and were on their way.

7:30PM
      The tub had been filled, but the water was just a bit cold, though it still felt good to be in.  Ty spent a good amount of time emptying out water while we let the water heat back up and let a pot of water boil downstairs.  Once the hot water was put in and the temperature started to rise, it felt sooooo divine.  Then, a contraction came and I would assume position to let someone put pressure on my low back.  Being that I've had issues with my hips and alignment, I knew it was a strong possibility that I would have back labor, but that doesn't make it any less painful.  At some point Ty asked me if I wanted to watch a movie and I was all for any kind of distraction.  I decided on Get Smart and Ty set up the laptop so that I could watch it from the tub with everyone sitting around me.

 8:15PM
      Mom and Dad had arrived!  I was so glad to finally see my mommy.  I knew neither one of us wanted her to miss this and I wanted her support.  She laughed at us as she came in to see that we were watching a movie.  :) If anything it was keeping my spirits up.

8:30PM
      Even though my dad had brought my mom, I didn't want him upstairs since I wasn't very modest at the time.  However, one thing that was really important to me was that my dad would be there to assist Ty in giving me a Priesthood blessing.  I put on my robe and sat on the yoga ball while my mom and Ginger held my hands and braced my legs in case a contraction came and I could have something to resist against.  By now, I had started making noises to help me release tension during each contraction and was worried that I would ruin the spirit of it.  However, I felt so calm during the blessing and knew that I had my Heavenly Father with me and that everything would be fine.  I also had the love and support of family and my midwife and her assistant.  Knowing this helped to carry me through each contraction.  Though, I will fully admit that I understand the appeal of an epidural.

10:00PM?
      I'm kind of guessing on time a little bit here because I'm having trouble remembering.  After the blessing, I got back in the tub and I remember everyone finding things for me to snack on.  First, it was an Otter Pops (Ty asked me what kind I wanted and I really could have cared less.  Haha.  I just wanted it cold.), Applesauce (really glad I bought that the day before), and Vanilla Greek Yogurt for some protein.  During the process of my labor, every so often, Ginger or Marcile (the birth assistant) would use the doppler to read and monitor the baby's heartbeat.  She was doing so good.  I can't remember when (I think between 10:30 and 11:00), but Ginger asked me if I would like another exam to see how I was doing.  I said, yes and we moved to the bed.  I had now progressed to 9.5 cm and was fully effaced.  However, my water had yet to break and Ginger asked if I wanted her to try and do that.  I gave my consent, but my cervix was still posterior and the sac was so tough she was unable to do so.  So back in the lovely warm water I went.

      My contractions were increasingly more painful and the groans I had initially used had grown into yelling.  I was also growing more exhausted.  Remember, I had been awake since 3:30 AM with no sleep in between then and this point.  Though I wanted so badly to rest and sleep, the contractions prohibited me from either.  I remember saying that if I wasn't about to have a baby, I'd be getting the best sleep ever after such an intense workout. 

Thursday 2/16 12:15AM
      By now, through intermittent watching, the movie was over.  I was still in the tub, now really letting loose through the contractions.  I kept thinking my neighbors were going to call the police on us for domestic violence.  We hadn't told them our birth plans after all.  My midwife had finally made the brilliant decision to turn the light off in the room and letting the light from the other rooms give the little illumination we needed.  It was as if it changed my entire labor.  Suddenly, I felt like I could rest in between contractions.  And then, finally, I felt that sensation to push, which is similar to feeling like you are having a bowel movement.  I continued in the tub and during one of my breaks, Ty looked at his phone and showed me the time and announced that our baby would definitely be born on the 16th, the day before my birthday.  This is quite funny considering anyone who talked to me about her due date knew that I didn't want her to be born on my birthday.  It just figures that she wanted to be born the day before.  :)  Of course, I wasn't really laughing right then.

12:45AM?
      After pushing for awhile, I could tell that something was keeping me from progressing.  Not that anything was wrong, I just wasn't getting anywhere.  Ginger suggested trying to push while on the toilet because then that pushing feeling is more natural.  I figured it couldn't hurt and was worth a try, so I left the blissful warm water, though it had started getting cool, and headed into the bathroom.  In case you are wondering, I forgot about keeping up my dignity and pride long before and wasn't too concerned with "what it looked like".  Still, I must admit that because I was screaming my lungs out during each contraction I was still a little worried about what my neighbors would think of me.  Not enough, to keep me from belting it out though.

      This position of pushing while on the toilet seat was definitely making a difference.  I could feel my baby girl moving down into the birth canal.  Ginger said that if I wanted I could reach down and feel the head, since she thought that my water had broken while I had been in the tub.  I reached down and felt something, but it didn't feel like the head.  I described it to Ginger and my water had in fact NOT broken.  Once again, Ginger tried to break it and this time succeeded.  Now we were back in business.  I felt for her head again and then felt something quite different than before and knew it was her little head.  Ginger asked if I wanted to deliver in the bathroom or if I wanted to go back to the tub and I really wasn't sure.  In the end, I decided to stay in the bathroom since I couldn't imagine moving and so awkwardly.

1:15AM
      Pushing was really progressing and everyone (except Ty, who stood in front of me while I clutched his hands during the contractions for support) was getting things together in preparation.  Suddenly, I felt the Ring of Fire, though I don't know that I would have called it a ring, but there was definite burning.  Ginger came into our small, narrow bathroom and instructed me to get off of the toilet and go down to the ground on all fours and asked Ty if he wanted to catch the baby.  He said sure, but I don't think he knew what he was getting himself into.  :)  I love hearing his perspective, so I'm going to let him share what he got to experience first.

Ty's Version:
      It's a difficult thing to see someone you love in pain and not be able to do anything about it.  I did my best to stay by Jenny's side, to try to comfort her as best i could, and to meet her needs in any way possible.  Mostly that meant applying pressure to her back during contractions and hauling boiling water up the stairs to keep the tub warm.  When the tub got too full I would scoop the water into a mop bucket with a pot and then empty it in the tub.  It was a long, slow process and my back and legs paid the price, but it felt good to be able to contribute in some way.

      Once we moved to the bathroom, I could tell things were getting close.  I tried to stay close to Jenny to support her any way I could while still staying out of Ginger's way.  Jenny would have preferred to return to the tub for the actual birth, but things were happening to fast and I think she just wanted to get it over so she delivered on the floor in the bathroom.  There isn't a lot of room in there.  Ginger and I were behind her while her mom and Marcile were in front.  Now that things were really getting down to business, I was ready to just get out of the way and let Ginger do her thing.  She had a different idea.  While helping Jenny to get situated she asks me, quite casually like it was no big deal, if I wanted to catch the baby.  I wasn't expecting this and didn't really understand what all that implied, but I said, "Sure".

      I could see Anna's head just starting to emerge.  It didn't look like I expected, though Ginger had explained how it all worked.  It was small and wrinkly and, it may sound insensitive, but I remember thinking that it didn't look human at all.  As the head came out a little bit further, Ginger told me to put my hand under her head and to put a little pressure downward on the back.  On the next push, her chin and mouth popped out.  It was beautiful and a little unsettling at the same time.  She still looked doll-like, not really alive.  With the next push, her arm came out with the rest of her head.  I was able to grab her by the body now and Ginger said to go ahead and pull her the rest of the way out.  What had been a strange, foreign thing was now a beautiful, screaming baby girl.  I was surprised at how strong she was as I held her there on the bathroom floor.  I had been expecting a small, fragile baby but she was big!  and strong!  Then Ginger had me slide her forward to her mother, leaving me quite dazed and overwhelmed.  It had been a long, stressful night, but it had been worth it!

My Version:
      The burning was intense and was more so when I pushed.  I had no desire to  continue with that feeling, but knew that this baby was only coming out one way.  Through the encouragement of my midwife, her birth assistant, my husband, and my mom I pushed past the pain and felt her little head emerge.  The hardest part was over, at least that's what it felt like to me.  With another push, the rest of her body seemed to just slide out.  Anna (pronounced Aw-nah) Renee was born at 1:29AM on February the 16th of 2012.  Immense relief overwhelmed me and I hung on my mom while I cried with joy that it was over and also at the sound of my baby's cry.  Ty slid her underneath me and I picked up my brand new daughter and held her against me.  I couldn't believe it.  I had just given birth.  She was beautiful and complete.  Four years of waiting for this little person and she was finally here.  The word "surreal" was used multiple times following her birth.

      Once I had her in my arms, it was time to move to the bed where an older sheet and a cover where put to protect it from getting anything on it.  The chux pad that was underneath me during her birth was folded up and held by Ginger and Marcile and we somewhat awkwardly made our way to the bed.  I continued to hold my little sweetheart while I delivered the placenta.  At 1:35AM I was technically, now, considered not pregnant.  Ty then cut the umbilical chord and the placenta was examined where all was found to be normal.  During the delivery, I sustained a minor 2nd degree tear.  Mostly it was just skin, but there was a small amount of muscle that tore.  I also managed to have some swelling.  Ginger numbed me and stitched me up.  I believe that she said I had 11 stitches total.  Four for the muscle and seven for the skin.

      After I was cleaned and stitched up, I was able to feed Anna. My dad had been downstairs the whole time, though I think he might have fallen asleep.  I finished feeding her and my dad came upstairs and helped measure her and then she was weighed.  She was 8lbs. 15oz. and 21.5 inches long.  Her head circumference was 35cm.  I knew she was a big baby!  Dad got to hold her before he had to leave for home.  Finally, everything was taken care of and cleaned up, I laid down with my baby Anna next to me and slept.  FINALLY!

 

Midwife Weeklys Part 2

Week 4

     This is technically my 40 week appointment and I'm 2 days overdue.  Not surprising, but I realized that even though it's only and estimation, passing the date is still frustrating.  Mostly because I had been thinking I would have gone into labor the week prior.  Oh well, what's a pregnant girl to do besides wait.  The week prior I felt really calm.  We finished all of the major things that need to be done before our little girl is born and I think that really has helped me feel less anxious.  It's amazing what a burden that lifts.  I did have a few emotional breakdowns that started with the funeral and I think any emotions I was holding onto were being let go.  I had to face and deal with my fear that still lingers that if anything goes wrong, it's my fault.  Why?  Because it's my body and I'm "in control" of my body right?  Yeah, I'm trying really hard to remind myself that's not the case.

      I lost part of my mucus plug the Saturday before.  Not sure what the other stuff was before, but this was definitely what it was.  Contractions.  Oh who knows?!  I've felt pressure and tightness in my belly and light twinges of "menstrual-like" cramps, but nothing that I would have regarded as, "Yup, that's a contraction", or "Labor started."  Everyone keeps saying, "Oh you'll be able to feel a difference."  Yes, thank you.  And the difference being?!  From what I can gather, I'm waiting for what seems more painful menstrual cramps.  When I talked about it with Ginger, she asked if I was interested in a cervical exam and I felt up for it.  I'd rather know how/if far I've progressed than leaving it up to my imagination.  Ginger found that I'm 3cm dilated and 80-90% effaced (she originally said 90, but then said maybe 80).  She asked if I was okay with her doing a cervical massage since she was already there, which I was.  What I love about Ginger is that she takes the time to explain what she's doing so that I can understand what's happening.  Once again all is well in babyland and hopefully we'll see our little girl this week!  But who knows.

Midwife Weeklys

Source

Warning:  Long post ahead.  Proceed with caution and at your own risk of sleepiness.  :)

Week 1

     This was another short visit because I had just seen her only 5 days before.  I can't believe that I'm already this far into my pregnancy that I'm doing weekly visits!!!  We talked mostly about how I'm doing.  She thinks that baby girl has got a bit bigger since last time, and considering I gained 2 pounds since then I would hope so.  I'm not sure where else it's going.  Well, I could guess, but that's an unpleasant thought I choose not to believe in.  :)  Honestly, I'm having a hard time seeing my belly get bigger.  My guess is that this is due to her consistently moving up instead of out.  I'm getting stomach aches in the mornings now that will dissipate when she moves down a bit.

      Before going to this appointment, I actually had a bit of a break down and shared with Ty what I was feeling.  The last couple of days, I was feeling very overwhelmed with being uncomfortable, stressed of her being okay, and the pressure to get everything done and prepared before her arrival.  I tend to expect perfection out of myself and it's difficult when I realize that I haven't been living up to that self-inflicted expectation.  Now that my hormones are greatly affecting my emotions (I call it hormotional thanks to Willamina from the TV show Ugly Betty :) ), I've been even more so distraught over small, what I feel, are "failures".  They aren't of course and everything will get done in time, I just have to be more patient with myself.

      I digress, I told Ginger that I had officially hit "Panic Mode" and she thought that maybe I was worried about labor.  Fortunately, that hasn't fully registered yet.  We talked about my uncomfortableness.  She suggested ways to help me sleep better.  My hips are killin' me and my tummy is more awkward to move from side to side.  Even sitting down for long periods of time is rough.  I ended up having to leave church early the day before because (1) I was wicked tired and couldn't keep my eyes open, (2) she was kicking me all over the place and I couldn't focus, and (3) my bum was getting numb from sitting too long.  Ginger also, suggested putting up positive statements where I can see them now so that I can calm myself before going into labor. 

       Again, she's on the right side.  She moves to the left a little sometimes, but she just likes to cuddle with mommy on the right side.  Ginger told me that she's in the front and as long as she's there she's good.  Baby girl was measuring right on time, once again, though she hasn't dropped just yet.  I'm anxious for her to get out of my upper innards.  We also did my Group B test this visit.  All I can say is (with much sarcasm), "lovely".  :(  The things we women endure.  Before sitting up, I looked down at my stomach and actually saw muscles!  Hooray!  They're still there, just a little more difficult to see at the present.  I'm glad to know I still have them.  Big highlight of the visit.

Week 2

      Group B test results came back and I tested negative.  Yay!  However, I do have an infection which she said can be taken care of with a salt water bath every other day until the baby is born.  She also said to "enjoy" my probiotics. The infection itself is nothing serious, but it's always good to get things like that taken care of.

      This week I came in with a list of things to talk with her about that have been going on.  Firstly, I've had some green mucus a couple of times when wiping in the bathroom (sorry, TMI).  I've read some things that could have explained it and the most likely explanation is that it's that is the mucus plug that's slowly coming out.  The next thing was some swelling in my hands and feet the day before, which was explained by having had pizza the night before.  I, also, had some concerns about her movement.  Ginger confirmed what I had thought, but wanted to make sure of, was that she's kind of running out of room.  I'm not very tall so there's not much room for her to move around in.  Later on in the appointment, and the remainder of the day, Baby Girl proved that she is in fact alive by moving quite a bit.  I'll never doubt her again.  :)  The last thing is that the adapter piece she gave us to connect the faucet and the hose doesn't fit our faucet.  So we'll see if it will connect with the shower head or find an adapter that will fit the sink.  Oh dear.

      She quickly went over the Emergency Childbirth page she has for Ty in our folder.  It basically outlines what needs to happen if things happen quickly or if something goes wrong.  Next we talked about breast infections and what to do about.  She emphasized that I can call her no matter how long it's been since I've seen her and she can take care of the situation.  We also talked about ways to prevent.  The great news this week is that I only gained 1 pound!  Yes.  Other than that one day of swelling, I've been doing pretty good.  My blood pressure is still good.  Baby, or as we called her this visit, "Juniorette", made it to the left side during the week after a chiropractor adjustment.  Though, she seemed on the right and center for the most part during the visit.  She sitting lower, but not quite "in position" yet.  When Ginger measured her she said, "Cooked."  I wondered what that meant and asked what she was measuring at.  Ummm, yeah, so 40!  NO WAY!  Holy Big Baby Batman!  At this point I'm 38 weeks.  While hearing her heartbeat, we played a little game with her.  I poked at her feet and she poked back.  Her heartbeat went from 135 to 160.  She was definitely awake.  :)

Week 3

       I feel like I'm in a daze, but at the same time I feel good about everything.  At this visit we were able to meet Marcille (sp?), the woman who will be assisting Ginger during the birth.  It kind of made everything more real as we are drawing very near my due date.  I really like Marcille and I'm looking forward to her being there during the birth.  They asked if I had any questions for her and I confess I didn't.  I trust Ginger and that she wouldn't bring someone around us that we wouldn't get along with.  And really for the most part I get along with everybody.  :)  We did spend some time getting to know her and her getting to know us.

      At this point in my pregnancy, we're so close and we see her so often that we don't have much updating to do.  We did ask her about going to Ty's grandpa's funeral on Friday and she said that it would be fine for us to go, but to take the birth kit just in case, though we should be able to be back in time.  During the belly/baby exam we discovered she's down into position, ready for action.  Of course, it's always possible for her to rise a little bit if she's feeling rebellious.  Overall, all is well in the world of baby.  :)

Midwife Appointment at 34 Weeks and 36 Weeks

I decided to combined these two visits into one post because they were only two weeks apart and the first one was shorter.

34 Weeks    

      Um, really?  The time is getting very far away from me.

      This appointment was a little bit shorter than normal because she was with another patient and I think she wasn't informed we were there. :)  We talked about getting all of the things we need for baby and birth.  I'm still not ready and trying to get everything together.  Gah!  I'm running out of time!  Ginger brought up a few things that will be helpful such as olive oil for the baby's bottom to assist with keeping her newborn poopies from sticking to her sensitive skin.  She reminded us of the different stages of pushing.  THE RING OF FIRE!  I've heard about this from so many and I'm trying my best to mentally prepare for this.  We talked about about her Prep Tea that she offers to her expecting moms.  It's exactly what it sounds like, a tea that will help prep my body and hopefully make me more efficient during labor.

      Stretch marks have finally appeared.  I can handle it.  I've had stretch marks forever from being "bigger boned" and "fluffy".  These are different from what I already have though.  Regardless, I've succumb to the fact that it happens, I'm not the only one who gets them, and that's life.  Oh wells. Also, feeling the shortness of breath.  She sits high and her feet push up when she moves and stretches.

      During the exam, per her usual, baby girl was on the right side.  She's down low, but not "in position" low.  I'm now far enough along that when we do the exams, it's uncomfortable and I always end up with what Ginger calls a "tight tight" (aka Braxton Hicks contraction).  By the time I get it though we've finished.  Yay!


36 Weeks

      What an interesting an crazy day!  That morning we received a blanket of snow and the roads were barely used.  Ginger called me that morning because everyone else had cancelled and wanted to know if I was still planning on coming.  She said she didn't mind coming in and we would still have a chiropractic appointment for Ty afterwards so we just decided to make the drive and keep our appointment.  The roads were not lovely and I repeatedly told Ty I was glad he was driving and I didn't have to.  If it were just me, I would have rescheduled.  I'm not a great winter driver.  I'm the person people get mad at.  :)

      She asked if baby was moving well.  Um, yeah, she's fine.  There's not much room for her in there and it gets rather uncomfortable...for me.  This girl is strong.  Someone asked me if she's a soccer player.  Oh yes, soccer player, boxer, gymnast.  We also talked about vaccinations, which ones are usual and she let us know pros and cons of each so that we can make up our minds as to which ones we will want to give to her.  Another reminder was given that if I go into labor at night to call her house.  During the day, call either her cell or pager and leave a voicemail on either.

     My feet and hands haven't really swollen yet, which is great.  Only if I'm REALLY warm or am not able to put my feet up at some point.  Either way, it's easily remedied.  Ginger also suggested lying on my side with the outer leg elevated above my heart until the swelling goes down and then switch sides.  We talked about the tub, which she will be providing us for free, luckily (on loan of course), and she gave us an adapter to the sink for the hose that will fill the tub.  She also gave us instructions on how to clean both the tub and the hose and how to prepare the bed for labor and birth.  We also talked briefly about how I will be staying upstairs for the first three days.  I had said something about this on Facebook and a few people were confused by it because they were fine and were concerned I'd go stir crazy.  My answer to this is I want to make sure I am healing properly and I still plan on having the same social online interaction I've always had by keeping my laptop and books next to me.  If I'm doing well enough to walk downstairs then sure, but for now the plan is to stick to my room, baby's room, and the bathroom, unless there is some serious need for me to do otherwise, for which I can't foresee. 

       During the exam, baby girl was extremely active!  Which was a little uncomfortable for momma.  Once again, she was the right side.  While feeling for her, baby elbowed Ginger.  ;)  She does NOT like the little amount of space she has to be invaded.  Haha.  I was measured, but didn't catch what I was measuring at.  Before we left we purchased the birth kit and the prep tea.  I still can't believe that it's getting so close!  Gah!!!  We'll start seeing her every week now.

Midwife Appointment at 31 Weeks

 For the record, these little stockings are empty not because I already ate all the chocolates, but because I never got around to buying them. 

      The week before this appointment, Ginger came to our house and we began our first of two birth classes with her at our home.  I loved this.  The general idea was for her to give us an idea of a range of normal during labor and birth.  This will help us to know when things are going as they should and if we experience something outside of this, then we know to talk to her and take the appropriate actions.  Leading up to these appointments, I wondered how it would feel to have our caregiver in our home.  The idea of it seems strange and awkward.  However, when Ginger showed up and we got started, I was happy that I was really comfortable with her there.  This is definitely a good thing to know in advance of me going into labor.  :)

     In the first birth class we talked and learned about what takes place during the first three stages of labor.  I won't go into all the details of everything as only having taken the classes once does not qualify me to teach them.  Basically, I'm so glad that we were able to have her come to our home and get a feel for our environment.  It was also great and interesting to learn more about birth and labor.  I've tried to learn as much as I can, but you can never have too much information in this area.  It makes me really glad that I record our appointments so that I can go back and remember what we learned.  During this appointment she also went over my glucose test results.  I already knew the results were good, but it was good to go into more detail.

     One thing I have to mention about Ginger is that she has worked with other LDS patients before and even suggested that we may at some point want me to have a priesthood blessing.  I really appreciate that consideration.  Our second appointment was the next week and we talked about what happens after birth, such as the APGAR, birthing the placenta, and breastfeeding.  Again, this was at home and I'm so glad because this was at the beginning of the cold that I'm currently experiencing and so I stayed in my PJs.  No guilty feelings for me.  :)  After we finished with the class we started my prenatal appointment.  We talked about my weight gain, which is on track to gaining more than 30.  The holidays have not been good for super healthy eating.  Not awesome, but since I don't have Gestational Diabetes it's fine, just means I'll have more to lose after our little girl is born.  And honestly, while I need to work out much more, I DON'T FEEL FAT.  I feel pregnant, but not fat.  Oh and by the way, I've totally done it before so I KNOW that I can do it again.  Though it will be interesting how things will work when I have a little one to take care.

     She went over what happens during the Group B Strep test so we know what happens when we do that.  Then, she did the exam with me on the couch leaning back onto Ty's lap.   Baby was measuring at 30 weeks and heartbeat was lovely.  All in all, everything's good.  Hooray!  Next thing on my list to do is to call her office and make ALL the rest of my appointments.  Gah!  Am I really that far along already?  This is crazy, but amazing.

"And it came to pass, when she was in hard labour, that the midwife said unto her, Fear not; thou shalt have this son also." Gen. 35:17

     It wasn't easy finding a Midwife in this area.  There used to be a birth center in Kennewick, but it closed.  There's a group who are based half an hour from here, but they are booked up until after my due month.  I was lucky to find Ginger and that she is available.  She's been wonderful, as you can probably tell from my Midwife visit posts. 

Her website doesn't have her photo so I had to google it.  :)

Source

     My Midwife is very reassuring and confident in my abilities as a women to have this baby at home, naturally.  I kept wondering how to describe her personality to others.  On the way home from our last visit, I realized she has a very similar personality to my aunts on my dad's side.  So really she's like family.  :)  I'm very comfortable with her and I'm so glad that I feel so at ease in her presence.  That was something very important to me to find in a Midwife as she's going to be a big part of my labor and birth experience. 

I'm thankful for my Midwife, Ginger, because I'm so comfortable with her and she helps me stay confident in myself to be able to birth at home.

Midwife Appointment at 25 Weeks

    We started talking about me getting my glucose test done.  She gave me the paperwork,  instructions for how much grape juice to take, instructions for where to go, how much blood they draw.  All that jazz.  Then, we talked really quick about the next appointment which will be at our house.  She will be giving us two birthing classes a week apart in our home.  I'm really excited for that because it will give her a chance to see our home and where we will be having the baby.  Additionally, it will be lovely because we don't have to go anywhere.  :)  Yay for that!

     She asked about how the baby is moving and I was happy to report that she was increasing in movement, though during our few days away from home on vacation she was pretty still.  Since coming home she's gone back to normal.  Ginger said that it was interesting how babies in the womb can tell when they are in different environments.  That's exactly how I felt.  Like our little girl knew we weren't at home and it was throwing her off.  All is normal though.  I discussed how I've been getting pregnancy nasal congestion every morning and how uncomfortable it is.  Back when I first met with her she prescribed me a herbal remedy for that and it has helped quite a bit.  Also, I told her that, though my ankles are doing fine and not bloating up, they do get awfully soar and can't stand for too long of a time.  She suggested that I wear tennis shoes during the day to help with that.

    We then covered my diet and I gave her a general list of what I eat at every meal and for snacks.  I'm struggling with making dinner and I really need to make things in bulk.  Crock pot, crock pot, crock pot.  I think we will be putting it to a lot more use soon.  Then, she asked what I do for physical activity.  Ummmm, so lately not so much of anything.  She reminded me that birth is a physical activity.  It should have been a "Duh" thing, but it was a good reminder for my lazy bum that I need to work on conditioning my muscles for the most physically straining thing I've ever done.  I'm glad that Ginger reiterated it because I definitely needed to hear it. 

      She asked about my headaches, which have gotten better.  I switched to bottled water and I think that helped.  We found that our Brita filter wasn't getting all the chlorine out of the tap.  So to be safe we've been getting bottled for drinking.  Ty researched it a little bit and we are considering getting Culligan delivered.  As far as the headaches that I do get, they seem to be caused from sinus pressure from the congestion that happens in the morning.  However, once that's relieved they are gone.  Ginger also suggested using a salt water solution with a homemade make-shift Nettie Pot. 

     My measurements put me at 27.  I thought I would get away with it, but last minute she asked me what my weight is.  Ashamed I told her, I gained another 10 pounds.  It's all thanks to my new healthy appetite and my lack of physical activity.  She didn't seemed to worried, but said that I need to increase my activity or eat less.  Yeah, I'm definitely not going to be eating less.  We also discussed support for my belly when lying on my side.  Just in case your wondering pregnancy is not always comfortable.  :)

     So goals for this next month are to increase physical activity, start preparing dinners earlier, and get the glucose test done.  I've already started figuring out a schedule and a way to get some good activity in each day so hopefully it will be easy to stick to.  I've come up with some great dinner ideas that are all about the crock pot.  The glucose test will be taken in a couple of weeks and I'm hoping that all goes well.

Why I'm Choosing a Natural Home Birth

 I want this shirt!

Source

      Since announcing my pregnancy and my decision to have a midwife assisted at-home water birth , I've gotten a lot of "You're braver than me" type comments.  The truth is that is so not even a little bit the case.  What's true is that I've figured out what I want from my laboring and birthing experience and it's not something I'm guaranteed to get by going to a hospital where they try to control the situation.  Truth be told I never grew up thinking I would have my babies at home.  The idea seemed archaic and out of practice.  I remember once in Elementary School a friend of mine, Courtney, mentioned that she wanted to have her babies underwater and I was shocked and thought she was crazy.  (I think her mom is a Labor and Delivery Nurse so that's probably what prompted the thought.  Or maybe it was TV.)  In High School, my best friend, Megan, said that she was going to go without drugs and again I thought she was nuts.  Didn't she watch TV?!  Hadn't she heard the horror birth stories of the women who had gone before us?  Her own mother gave birth to a plethora of children so she must have known that it was a horrific and extremely painful process.  Hadn't anyone explained that you start saying "No Drugs" and then the pain kicks in full-force and you're begging for an epidural?  That's what I knew, so it made sense that someday when I was pregnant I would go to a hospital and they would drug me up and I'd pop out a baby.  Done deal.  (I realize it takes a great deal more than that, I'm just generalizing and summing it up.)

      Now, however, my opinions and outlook have changed almost completely.  While I still believe in the power of modern technology, medicine, doctors, and hospitals doing some amazing things to save lives, I also believe that a woman's body was made with the specific ability to bear children.  It wasn't an idea that I came up with all of a sudden though.  I feel like certain things in my life helped me get to a point where I could accept Natural Home Birth as an alternative to a multiple-intervention hospital birth.  Despite how I had felt about birth before, I never liked going to the doctor.  In fact, I haven't been to a doctor for something since High School.  My Mom being from Europe, a continent that embraces natural and holistic healing, was always there telling us that there were natural remedies we could use that would be much safer than your typical off-the-shelves drugs.  (That's not to say there isn't a time and place for certain medications and that I don't use some of them.) My Dad was a RN and so I always had taken on his stance and thought she was silly and all this natural stuff was for the birds.

      When I was going to school for massage it further enforced my burgeoning belief that the body had ways of healing itself.  A whole world of healing and holistic thinking was opened to me and I really started seeing things from a different perspective.  One of my brother-in-law's introduced us to The Body Code and muscle testing and it didn't take long for our family to jump right in.  Now, what really turned me around and got me thinking more about Natural Home Birth was when my friend Jenna of That Wife became pregnant and would post about her journey and experience with a midwife and her choice for a home birth.  I was impressed with the research she showed and information she shared comparing the risks and benefits.  But what really got to me was the type of experience she said she would be having at home compared to what it would be like in a hospital.  I knew right away that that was how I wanted it to be for me.  Also, I watched The Business of Being Born and that really got me going.  Great documentary!

      Since taking more of an interest in this view, I've found out a few things about the ladies I'm related to.  Both my Mom and Ty's Mom gave birth to ALL of their children naturally, though in hospitals.  I think I was even more impressed by Ty's Mom because those are some big headed boys.  :)  Then, come to find out my Mom was born at home, as well as two of her siblings!  (One was not able to be due to complications.)  How I never knew any of this before blows my mind.  I'm hoping I'll be able to get some of these birth stories from my Omi because I would love to hear what her experiences were like.  To get even crazier, my Aunt is a midwife!!!  It's like the universe is shouting at me to have this baby naturally.

      I found a blog that listed 10 reasons why she chose an unmedicated birth.  To read it go to this link.  Seriously, go to the link.  I'll wait here....................................................You're back!  Hooray!  Though, I haven't yet experienced it, I agree with everything she wrote*.

Here are some of my own reasons and benefits of giving birth at home:

1. I want to avoid interventions.  I always believed they were necessary, but have come to find that's not always true.  I would rather not be induced, particularly, because these drugs are not the same as my own body's hormones doing their job and working at a natural and normal rate.  I also want to be able to do this without nurses and doctors giving me weird looks and feeling like the place where I'm having my child doesn't support my decision.
2. My home is the most comfortable place I can be.  All my stuff is here and I know where it is.  I can roam around in my own area and not feel awkward that I can't go somewhere.  There won't be nurses coming in and out of the room.  The atmosphere and mood will be what I set it as. Also, I won't have to wait for a room to be available.  The room where I will have my baby will be available until the baby starts living in there.
3. Immediate contact with my baby.  No rushing her off for tests.  This baby and I are already forming a very special bond and I'm so anxious and ready to pull her up onto my chest and hold her and start that physical touch bond as soon as she is on the outside of my body.
4. Breastfeeding as soon as possible.  I'm still not sure if I'll do this immediately after birth or when they have been checked out and I'm "comfortably" sitting up in my bed once again holding my newborn, but hooray for having the choice!  Again, I want to begin that special bond with my baby very soon.  (Can you tell I'm a super big Feeler personality?!)
5. During labor, I can eat and drink.  I would like to stick to healthy choices of course and things that help keep my energy up.  Hospitals, generally speaking, don't allow that.  I have read that you can do it as long as they aren't in the room, but I don't want to have to be sneaky and stressed.  I want to be able to go into my kitchen, grab an apple or a sandwich from my fridge and munch on it if I feel the desire.
6. It might sound silly, but I really want to have that "I am WOMAN and I did this.  BOOYAH!" moment.  It may not be said aloud, but the thought will be there.  Believe it or not, I'm really insecure and I know that I will have moments of doubt.  However, one of the things my midwife said to me in the initial consult that made me feel like she was right for us was, "The body can do it, it's just convincing the mind that you can."  SO TRUE!
7. Laboring and birthing in water is believed, and proven for many women, to relieve to some degree the pain you experience during this time.  Make no mistake, I'm expecting pain and discomfort, but when I learned about this method, I knew this was something I wanted to at least try.  Who wouldn't want to utilize a way of easing their pain?  There are some hospitals that let you labor in water, but when it comes time to push, you have to get out.  Sad day.
8. Like birthing in water, why wouldn't I want to give birthing at home a try, if I have no complications?  Low-risk mothers giving birth at home have the same risks that low-risk mothers do who go to the hospital.  If any complications arise, we are literally a 3 minute drive from the hospital.  However, I'm fully confident in my abilities as well as the skills and knowledge of my midwife. 

*  Keep in mind when she says there are no risks with an unmedicated birth, she's not talking about the risks and ranging possibilities that can come along with most births.  When you receive meds during labor there are risks to each of them.  It's that way with any medication you take.

Midwife Appointment at 21 Weeks

    
     First thing she asked was about my weight, which is in the good range since I was able to loose weight at the beginning of the pregnancy.  However, I really need to take control of my "cravings" and not surrender to the lovely, yummy quick food that tempts me so.  She asked if I was able to feel the baby move and I happily answer yes.  I've sort of nicknamed this girl a "Vampire Baby" because I feel her most at night and almost never during the day.  So, I've come to the conclusion that she will be nocturnal and suck the living energy from me, thus "Vampire Baby".  It's cool, I still love her.  :)  Feeling her move is definitely a highlight for me.  She has yet to grow large enough to be able to find my ribs and other areas that will cause discomfort so this is the time to truly get the most enjoyment out of her wiggles.  Though, I have to confess, I hope to still find just as much joy when she's using my insides as her personal gym because it means she's alive and using her growing muscles.

     Next, we discussed my prenatal vitamins, which have been a source of tummy trouble for me.  Through the power of Facebook I was given lots of suggestions and tips and gummies were the popular choice.  I had bought some and taken them for two days and for some reason, I didn't think to check for it, but my midwife pointed out they don't have iron in them.  Since I'm somewhat predisposed to anemia I'd rather not risk getting a more serious case.  I tried taking the regular ones today in between soup and crackers, however, that didn't work out and I quickly ran for the bathroom.  If I can't find another alternative, I might just go with either Flintstones or some vitamins my midwife can prescribe to me.

     She briefly discussed the Anemia and Glucose test and what's involved with those as well as the birthing classes which will take place at our home.  Most likely, I'll be taking the test a week or two before Thanksgiving.  Oh how I hope the holidays don't turn on me (or rather I don't use the holidays to turn on myself).  The birth classes will happen about 29-30 weeks.  I'm excited for those, because it means I don't have to go anywhere.  :)

     Once again, blood pressure was taken and all is well.  She felt for baby and found her pretty quickly.  When we tried to get her to move and wiggle, she did what she did during the ultrasound, stayed put.  She moves for no one.  She's as stubborn as her mother.  I was measured and was measuring at 21 weeks, so right on.  This time finding her heartbeat, took milliseconds and it was loud and strong.  That's my girl!

     My personal goals until the next visit are to eat better (that's always true) and to find a good sustainable solution for prenatal vitamins.  And feel Baby Girl more.  Which isn't so much a goal as it is a desire.

Midwife Appointment at 17 Weeks

      I can't believe how fast the time keeps going.  Before you know it, it will be February and our little one will be making their public debut.  Gaaaaahhh!  There's still so much to do before then.

      First thing to discuss at the appointment, as with all of them, is how I'm feeling.  I proclaimed that I'm tired and she asked if it was normal pregnancy tired or if it was something.  For the most part I think it's normal pregnancy tired as I have to get up at least once a night for a bathroom interruption.  However, I also explained that I wake up with a headache pretty much every morning.  She asked if I'm drinking enough water, to which I had to confess that I'm trying, but do sometimes forget.  It was decided though, that even though lack of water could be a contributing factor, my pre-existing neck and migraine condition was the primary cause.  We talked about how my appetite has increased and the nausea has diminished.  Yay!!!  Big Man Breakfasts for me.  :)

     I finally remembered to fill out the form she gave us which gave her primary information about mine and Ty's health background as it pertains to my pregnancy.  We went over a few things and all looked good, so there wasn't much to discuss.  Then, it was discussed if we wanted to have the blood test for Down Syndrome and Neural tube defects.  I'm personally not worried about our child having these issues.  However, if it does come about that our little one suffers from something in this category, I would rather not know about it and have the anxiety throughout the rest of my pregnancy.  I will still love this child no matter what and give them the help and care they need when it's necessary.  Ginger made a wonderful point that I completely agree with.  The doctor she trained with said, "You do a test if it relieves anxiety, not to increase it."  So we will forgo that test.  We then discussed what we will need to do for the ultrasound!!  :)  Since she doesn't do ultrasounds, she refers you to a place that does.  In this case I'll be calling Tri City Radiology in Kennewick.  So in a few weeks we will hopefully be finding out what is swimming around inside my belly.

     Then, it was time to get up on the table and she took my blood pressure.  Honestly, I don't know if it's just later on in the pregnancy or if you are already worried about something, but I don't really understand the anxiety with getting your blood pressure taken.  Can someone explain this to me?  Maybe it's just that I feel calm at that point already after talking with Ginger that I just don't really feel the need to be anxious.  At any rate, I was normal.  Huzzah.  She then examined my belly and poked around for baby.  She found him or her pretty quickly and I loved that she asked how they were doing in a sweet voice.  Everything is growing just right.  Then we got to hear the heartbeat and some moving around.  The repetitive sound of the heart is the only repetitive sound that will never get old or annoy.  The heart sounds to me like a bouncing basketball.  I'm so glad that we get to listen to it every visit. 

     Leading up to this appointment, I had been feeling very anxious about things.  It's still hard for me to believe that I'm pregnant and even harder to believe that everything is okay.  I was actually struggling with the idea that my pregnancy had ended and my body just hadn't taken care of things naturally.  Morbid, I know, but the reality is, my past bad experiences have tainted me and I'm a very insecure momma.  However, right from the start of the appointment, everything I felt previously was put to ease as I felt taken care of, my concerns were listened to and understood.  Ginger has a very positive attitude and demeanor so it's hard not to feel comforted being around her.  Hearing the heartbeat definitely put me in a better place as well.  All in all, it was a good visit and I'm anxious to find out what our little one is.  I keep looking to my belly and asking, "Are you a boy or a girl?"  We'll soon, hopefully, find out!

Midwife Appointment at 13 Weeks

 I went on a VERY short walk today and tried to take more pictures.  I've been very bad about that this year.  This is from someone's front yard.  Appropriate since I'm receiving care from Blue Heron Naturopathic Care.

    This was actually not my first meeting with my midwife.  I did a free consult with her where she explained what she does and how the process would be with her and we get to sort of know each other.  I had prepared a list of questions for her, but she did such a wonderful job going through everything she does and all of her info, she basically answered everything on my list.  That gave me a lot of confidence that we would be on the same page.  Then Ty and I both met with her at about 9 weeks so we could get the ball rolling and so Ty could meet her as well.  Also, I had such a bad cold and needed to find some kind of relief.  Being that she is a naturopath she was able to give me a herbal remedy for my clogged sinuses.  Hooray!  She gave me a packet full of information on pregnancy and the different things that come with it with a holistic view.  We went on a little tour (I haven't asked yet, but next time I'll see if I can get pictures) of the office and the room where she will do the exams and the bathroom and what I need to do for the dipping the stick for the urine samples each visits.  If something doesn't look right I tell her.

    Dr. Virginia "Ginger" Frazer, of Blue Heron Naturopathic Care, actually encourages the spouse to be present at as many appointments as possible so she can get to know them as well and understand our dynamic as a couple so when the time comes for the birth she knows her boundaries.  Luckily, Ty has a job that will provide us with the opportunity for him to accompany me and his presence is really reassuring and plus I just really like having around.  :)  This appointment started with her asking a couple of follow-up questions about my cold and future maternity and parenting choices.  I forgot to fill out the form she had given to me the last time we were there so that cut down on the questions.  I got up on the exam table and she did an exam of my upper body and then she moved on to checking my uterus.

    Then for the moment that I really had been waiting for.  The doppler reading of my baby's heartbeat.  A doppler is a small handheld device that detects the fetal heartbeat.  We won't be getting an ultrasound until about Week 20 when we find out what we are having.  I had been sort of freaking out because after my miscarriage I have a lot of trust issues with my own body and had been concerned that maybe we wouldn't be hearing anything and I would be leaving extremely disappointed.  However, that was not the case.  I was extremely relieved when I first heard the swift pitter-pattering of the major organ of the little person who is living inside of me.  Ty got up from his seat and stood next to me holding my hand.  What a wonderful experience to have together!  It took her a little while to find it, but she said that that was normal this early since they are still so small.  I had hoped to get a video or something, but I wasn't prepared.  Even still, remembering it makes me happy.

    After I got down from the table she told me that I did have mild anemia and that was probably causing a slight murmur, but it wasn't a concern and can happen during pregnancy.  I just have to make sure I'm getting my nutrients and not overdoing it too much.  Since neither party had any more questions or concerns that concluded the visit and I'm scheduled to go back in another month.  Nothing weird or strange or crazy.  :)  We'll see if it's any different at the next appointment when I'll have the questionnaire that I should have done this time.  My self-appointed homework is to drink more water, get more protein, and fill out that form.

    This week I've been able to keep from throwing up, still moments of nausea, especially in the morning when there's nothing in my stomach, but improvement is improvement and I need to take advantage of it.  I've been really bad about my choices of what to eat and have totally fallen off the wagon.  I'd really like to get back to making a meal plan and counting calories to make sure I'm getting enough of the good stuff not just junk.  Plus, I think it's good to set limitations and not just eat things with the excuse that I'm pregnant and have "cravings".  (I believe that cravings are really your body telling you that you are needing certain nutrients, but isn't getting them.)  I don't want to have the baby and be super overweight from overindulging.  Weight gain is inevitable and there's no reason to think that it won't, but I also want to be healthy.  So there you have it.