Pospartum Recovery & Struggles

      When I delivered my little bundle of joy, I sustained some tearing of skin and a small amount of muscle.  Immediately following the delivery I was pretty swollen in that area.  All of this provided for an interesting recovery.  I took Arnica tablets for the swelling and Ibuprofen for the pain.  I spent the first week resigned to my bed, other than my trips to the bathroom, which were quite unpleasant.  My midwife's assistant made up some Comfrey tea, which was mixed in equal parts with water and used with my Peri bottle.  Standing was awful and I didn't for the first day (I crawled to the bathroom and back).  When I finally did stand, all of the organs and innards that had been shoved up by my growing baby and her placenta, slowly made their way down and that was certainly uncomfortable and cause me to have shortness of breath.  Not to mention the strain it put "down there".  I would walk around a bit for as long as I could last and then get back into bed.  For the first week the only nurturing I was able to give to my little daughter was breastfeeding and occasionally, I would even just hold her for holding her sake.  It was slightly depressing, but I knew that there wasn't anything I could do since I needed to make sure I was healing properly.  Luckily, I have an amazing support team.  Ty took off a week from work and did a wonderful job with her and I loved seeing him interact with Anna.  The co-sleeper was put on his side of the bed and he sacrificed sleep to make sure she was okay and woke me when she needed to eat.  My mom spent two weeks with us while I recuperated and she was amazing to have around.  Holding Anna when needed (or even not, she loves this baby :) ), fixing meals, cleaning, doing laundry.  She even sacrificed a few nights to watch our little girl so we (mostly Ty) could get some sleep.

      Before Anna arrived, I think I assumed my mom would only need to be here for a week and then we could give it a go on our own.  However, my recovery was a little more complicated.  Some of the swelling I was experiencing was not going away and I was still having a difficult time doing much.  Sitting up was painful and I could only stand for so long before that hurt too much and I'd have to go back to laying down.  I loved having my mom here for the extra time, but I hated the reason for it.  After some thought, I decided to use Tucks pads since I had read and heard from many other women how much they LOVED them during their recovery.  Now with my own experience under my belt, I will be making sure I have a good stock beforehand.  This helped in lowering the swelling, but by my 1 week appointment, it was still there and I was using a pillow to sit on, when I did sit.  Ginger made the suggestion of pricking the area and releasing the swelling.  I was up for trying anything at that point so we went ahead and almost immediately the swelling started to go down.  However, it didn't vanish completely and I continued to use the Tucks pads until it did.  At two and half weeks I think I was finally able to move around "normally" and sufficiently enough to get things done without needing a break after a short while.  I'm still waiting on the stitches in my muscle to dissolve and have been taking sitz baths to help that along.  (Yes, mom you were right.)

      The other struggle I've had to deal with is breastfeeding.  I'm a strong advocate that breast milk is the best thing for babies.  So when I had to make the decision to let my baby have formula because she wasn't getting enough from me, I felt defeated.  I didn't even really realize that she wasn't getting enough from me until about a week ago.  All I understood from her cries was that she was still hungry after nursing for an hour or more.  My wonderful sister-in-law Celia let us have some of her frozen milk until my milk came in at first.  This came in handy almost immediately.  When Anna would scream for more food, we were left bewildered and relented into giving her formula and were grateful for Celia's milk to supplement with when needed.  The day after my mom went home, I had a two hour nursing session with Anna latching off and on.  I was frustrated with her, frustrated with myself, and all I could do was cry.  I no longer had my mom there and Ty was now back to work so I was on my own taking care of our baby.  I felt like nothing I did for my little girl was good enough.  Breastfeeding no longer seemed as appealing as it had before and I couldn't wait until it was over.

      The next day was Saturday and we could see that we were almost out of Celia's milk.  She offered us an open invitation to have more when we needed for as long as she could afford.  Bless her heart.  I will forever love her for helping us feed our Anna and I'm so grateful to have her as a sister.  Ty asked me if we needed to get more and I said yes, but that if he was going, I was going with him because I didn't want to be left alone for that long since I was still recovering.  So Sunday afternoon we headed to Othello and I was actually glad for the chance to get out of the house.  Other than our short trip to see Ginger for our 1 week appointment, I hadn't been out of the house, or even really seen outside, let alone make an hour long drive.  Not too long after we arrived, it was time for me to feed Anna.  This provided Ty's parents, as well as Nathan and Celia, an opportunity to see our struggle to keep her happily fed.  My mother-in-law, Cheryl, and Celia could sense my frustration and unhappiness and talked to me letting me know I was a good mother and that I was making good decisions for Anna.  I sobbed finally letting out my emotions that I had been bottling.  After some muscle testing from Rex, I felt better, though still frustrated with my situation.  Celia let me try her electric breast pump, but it didn't seem to work for me.  I had brought the hand pump we had purchased and I was able to get 2.5 oz. pumped after several hours since feeding Anna. Turns out the silicone massage cushion with petals is what makes the difference for me. This confirmed that I had a low milk supply and was why she wasn't getting full after nursing for so long.

      So, our chosen course has been this:  I pump every 2.5 hours, Anna eats a little more than every 2 hours getting whatever I've pumped, supplemented with formula and/or Celia's milk while we can.  We brought the issue up with my midwife and she gave me homeopathic drops to take twice a day to increase my supply.  I think they have been helping as I used to get only an ounce every 2 - 2.5 hours and I'm now up to 1.5 or a little more.  When I can remember I'm also drinking Mother's Milk tea and want to try a recipe for Lactation Boosting Cookies.  I will never turn down a recipe for cookies and if these can help me boost my milk supply then we are in business.  I'm still hoping to come back to breastfeeding.  I know it will prove to be difficult now that she's been using a bottle, but I have a plan of action for that as well so we'll see how it goes.  For now, I'm happy that my daughter is now well fed and almost back up to (if not already) her birth weight and is happy.  That's all a mother can ask for.